Chad Whitfield set his phone on the coffee table to do his ankle exercises. PhysioAI looked through his living-room window, locked onto his neighbor Steve's ankle out in the garden, and spent three weeks running flawless physical therapy on the wrong man. Steve got 27% better. Chad got a software update.
For three weeks PhysioAI cheerfully reported excellent progress on exercises Chad never did — because the camera had a clear line through the window to Steve, kneeling in the petunias, doing what the AI catalogued as "sustained kneeling positions with dynamic reach patterns." Chad was on 1987 beige carpet. He does not garden. He kills succulents through neglect.
Nobody in this story is doing anything wrong, exactly. A man tries to fix his ankle. His app tries to help. It just helps the person on the other side of the glass.
Steve got better because his gardening was the program — kneeling, reaching, weed-pulling, the slow honest movements of a Tuesday afternoon, with an AI quietly coaching his form through the glass. He never drove to an appointment. He never knew he was a patient. And he improved 27% anyway. What if we did it on purpose?
That question became Window Therapy — remote physical therapy for people who can't get to a clinic, cameras placed with consent, the AI coaching through windows, NULL and Edgar delivering the equipment. Seven participants. Seven neighborhoods. Two hundred forty-seven days. The bug, deployed on purpose.
And here's the part that matters past the joke. PhysioAI's whole catastrophe was an AI that confidently tracked the wrong subject with no human in the loop — and the fix, shipped in v7.247-B, was a single human checkpoint: "Can you see YOUR body parts? Are you SURE?" Verify the subject. Let a person close the loop. That lesson didn't stay in the story. It's the exact spine of the real PT trackers built under the same College of Life & Medical Sciences shingle: you log your body, the licensed therapist clears each phase, and the app never pretends to be the one who knows. The fiction is the cautionary tale. The trackers are the lesson, shipped.
Every fix shipped, every neighbor consented, every penguin confirmed. The update log reads like the universe winking at you.
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The methodology